Even though no one has responded to My Wanted Ad for a Sexy Handy Man to do free work - for nothing in exchange except be fed home-cookin' (yeah right... still holdin' my breathe!!), I have discovered that I have "Handy Men On The Wall" at my beckon call! That's right! My Handy Dandy BBQ Set! They aren't just for BBQ'ing!! Now if anyone ever breaks into my house, they just better leave their paws of my "Handy Men On The Wall"!! I'm not going to let anyone take off with my loyal, faithful, at-
This morning I found myself in need of help to fish out from behind my desk the extra internet cord for my design computer. Rather than wrench my back trying to pull the desk out, and do a dis-figuring acrobat act, I just turned to grab up my Handy Dandy BBQ Meat Hook Man! Yep, that was the right man for the job!
Can you imagine having 4 or 5 Handy Men just waiting for you to snatch them up, standing at attention and crying out, "Pick Me! Pick Me!" Well, this Handy Guy is one of my favorites! I always eye him first! Not only is he good for fishing out cords, but he is very helpful with pulling down the economy packages of paper towels, napkins and toilet paper that I store high above on a cabinet in my bathroom! He is very loyal with lending a helping hook! Yep, a one-armed man with a hook for a hand can be very helpful around the house!
Now for one of my other favorite Handy Men, we have the Handy BBQ Tong Man!
..Yes he has long, skinny arms, but he sure knows how to get the job done! I reach for this guy to help me fish out cords as well. There's those wild times in my house that the critters love to play catch-
Other useful things you can use the Tong Man for is to help with your Spring Cleaning Marathon. He can reach up on those high shelves and retrieve the stuffed animals, help you straighten the top of drapes you just vacuumed, etc. He can pull down the sweater that you thought you wouldn't need for the rest of the season... he's just useful for many things!
Upon my photo search, I found another Handy Tong Man that I think I just gotta have! I sooooooo gotta get me one of these! It will satisfy my craving to have an Animal Loving Handy Man around my Critter Oasis Abode!! ;)
..Now as for the Spatula Man and Fork Man, I haven't really relied on these guys to help me out much. But I am sure I will be finding myself in need of their services some day!
..As I sat here pecking at my keyboard* (see side note below), I thought of some ideas that I wish I had used them for in the past. There's been several occasions that I needed an Handy Intimidating Man to help me greet the "oh mom he is so cool" wanna-be BF that has come to court my daughter! I always made sure to "get my bluff in" referring to my iron grip on cahonnes... hee hee - you shoulda seen their faces!... but then again I have recently become a grandmother. Guess I didn't snarl enough! ;)
Now wouldn't this make a great first impression on any young lad that showed up on my doorstep??!! Can't you just see me hearing the doorbell, running to slip on my mask, grab a wiener out of the fridge, slap it on the Handy Fork Man and greet this unsuspecting young man?? I can!! =p
..This leaves me to ponder what I am going to do about my sons and the girls that are starting to come around. Having a new baby in the house recently was a good "eye-opener" for my boys, but I don't know if it's enough to keep me from worrying about the next few years. Maybe I need to purchase a set of shrunken female heads and answer the door wearing them laced around my neck?? Hmmmm.... I'm going to have to think about this one!! =p
Hmmmmmm.... I wonder whatever happened to this Handy Meat Probing Guy? I have not seen him around! Did he get tired of me not using him enough and walk out on me? I know... I think my daughter must have thrown him out of the house so I wouldn't be tempted to use my "iron grip" and say, "Nope, you're not done being grilled yet!"
Yeah... I wish I had thought of that back then!! ;)
*As for my side note on the keyboard thing: My only two phone jacks have seemed to let me down on Friday. It's an old house, and I've been experiencing a lot of static from time to time. They put us in the position of not being able to have internet access for the whole weekend.
Well you know me! I said, "Oh Hell No!". After trying various things to figure out what the problem was, I just strung the router cord through the window and plugged it into the "customer side" of the main phone box on the side of my house. When it comes to my internet, where there's a will there's a way! Now if I can just get the repairman to add a couple more junctions inside the box, then I can drill holes in my house and run more phone jacks to make my life easier!
My grandma was the original DIY'er in my family, and passed it on to my mom. Mom still helps me do a lot (such as helping me demo and remodel my unfinished addition - with the help of my uncle and his hired hand - but he is reliable family that will come to my distress). I am learning more and more as each year passes by. And someday, my daughter will be smart just like me! That's my favorite saying now-a-days as she calls me for info after moving back to TX... with that "oh he's so cool" boyfriend I should have used the Handy Meat Probing Man on! ;)
Stay tuned for more Handy Tips from the Creative DIY'er in the Heart of America! My mind never stops tickin'! There's always tons of things I need to do around here, and I am tackling them one job at a time! =p
Got some Handy Tips to share? Leave a comment! I only have so much brain power! You'll have to purchase your own Handy Men On The Wall cause I'm not sharin' mine!! =p
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